Homer Simpson disappearing into the bushes

So you had a great first date...and then they ghosted you!

Ghosting happens when someone:

  • Abruptly cuts off all contact with you.

  • Doesn't accept your phone calls or text messages.

The world of online dating has created a consequence-free environment. Today, ghosting happens easily because people are anonymous. People would rather disappear than say they aren't interested. 

Why do people ghost? 

  • They're afraid of being rejected.

  • They're conflict-avoidant.

  • They're afraid of commitment.

A cartoon ghost passing through a girl and taking her heart.

Ghosting sucks. It's jarring — especially when you've been ghosted after the first date — because it feels like you're having a conversation with that person, and they walk away mid-sentence. 

Follow these tips so you can respond and move on after being ghosted.

Don't take it personally!

You went on a great first date, and they said they would text you — but you haven’t heard anything since. You messaged them three days ago and still haven’t received a response. 

The key is not to take being ghosted after the first date personally. Don’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions. Cultivate the self-love you deserve and move on.

The words

Take yourself on a date:

  • Treat yourself to a nice cup of coffee/tea and a yummy pastry from your favorite coffee shop.

  • Go to your favorite museum and walk around.

  • Go on a walk around the park.

Offer yourself some comfort:

  • Place your hands on your chest and take deep breaths.

  • Give yourself a hug.

  • Say something kind and soothing to yourself, such as "I see you. I see how badly you’re hurting. I’m here."

A person looking in the mirror. A yellow post-it note on the mirror says:

Be the bigger person!

Understand that ghosting in dating is rude, but don’t confront them. Just move on!

Telling someone off might feel gutsy and satisfying in the moment, but you could risk further rejection. The person who ghosted you clearly doesn't respect your time, so why should you waste your time (and energy)? 

A woman yelling,

Here are some ideas of what you can do instead of telling someone off:

  • Journal it! Writing down your feelings can boost mental clarity and help with emotional regulation.

  • Text or call your friend/loved one and talk to them about how you feel.

  • Put together a vision board of what your ideal date looks like.

A person surrounded by plants writing in their journal about being ghosted after the first date.

This too shall pass...

Surround yourself with people who care about you. Vent to your loved ones about being ghosted after the first date — it helps!

Take a break from online dating and cultivate self-love. Spend some time by yourself and take yourself on dates. 

Stay positive about dating and know you can go back on the apps when you are ready. You will find someone who is worth your time and energy.

Remember: this too shall pass.

Drag queen saying imma take time for me gif

Quiz:

Bella went on a date with Jack, and the two of them closed out the bar. Jack said he had a great time and couldn't wait to see her again. He said the next couple of days would be busy, but he would reach out in a couple of days to schedule their second date.

A week passed, and Bella even reached out over the app, but she still hasn't received a response.

What should she do? Select all that apply:

  • Option 1: Text Jack one more time.

  • Option 2: Call Jack and tell him off.

  • Option 3: Accept that she's been ghosted and move on.

  • Option 4: Vent to her friends about how annoying it is to be ghosted after the first date.

Quiz

What are her best options?

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