How do I practice the 6 principles of ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy)?

You might have heard of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) before, but have you ever heard of ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)?

Where CBT focuses on changingyour thoughts, ACT focuses on acceptingyour thoughts.

It's a proven-effective therapy that has helped thousands of people . If you want to learn more about how it can benefit you, reading up on its 6 core principles is a great place to start!

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Unlike many other therapies that aim to reduce or eliminate negative thoughts or feelings, ACT helps people make room for them so they don’t control your life. Emotional pain isn’t the enemy — avoidance is.

You can practice acceptance by allowing your thoughts, emotions, and sensations (whether they're good or bad!) to come and go without struggling with them. So what does that look like?

Step 1: Notice what you're resisting.

When you start feeling emotional discomfort, pause and ask yourself: "What am I trying to push away or control right now?”

Step 2: Name it to tame it.

Label your experience in a gentle, nonjudgmental way: “I’m noticing anxiety," or "I'm experiencing a tightness in my chest." This helps you neutrally observe what you're feeling.

Step 3: Sit with it instead of solving it.

Resist the urge to get rid of your negative feeling as fast as possible. Try saying: "I'm willing to feel this, even though I don't like it." This statement can soften your internal struggle.

It's so easy to become tangled up in our negative thoughts. But did you know that believing your negative thoughts is actually optional?

Your thoughts are just your thoughts — they're not truths or commands. You can decide whether you want to believe them or follow them.

This shift is called cognitive defusion and it involves stepping back from your thoughts and seeing them as separate from yourself.

What you don't want is to be consumed by them and fused with them.

Example

Let's say you have an ongoing thought that says, "I'm a failure." Try these tips to use cognitive defusion and tackle it:

• Say it in a silly voice. See how ridiculous and non-serious the thought sounds?

• Add "I'm having the thought that..." "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure" is just an observation, whereas "I'm a failure" sounds like a fact.

• Visualize it as a leaf on a stream. Imagine placing the “I’m a failure” thought on a leaf floating by on a stream. You’re not pushing it away—you’re just not clinging to it.

• Say “I’m a failure” out loud 30 times quickly. It starts to sound like just "noise".

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Being in the past often leads to negative rumination, while being in the future often leads to anxiety about what's coming next.

But being in the present? That's about being open, curious, and engaged with the here-and-now. That's where we should want to spend most of our time.

"Easier said than done!" you might think. But does it have to be? Remember, it doesn't take much to bring yourself back to the present moment. Try one of the tips below!

To bring yourself back to the present moment:

• 5-4-3-2-1 sensory grounding technique: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

• Mindful micro-moments: Pick an everyday activity and do it slowly and intentionally with no distractions. For example, wash your hands and ask yourself, "What does this feel like? What do I notice?"

• Use a physical anchor: When your mind wanders, bring your awareness back by noticing the feeling of your feet on the floor or the sensation of your fingertips.

This technique is all about noticing yourself as separate from your thoughts. The "observing self" is able to take a step back and watch what is happening to you.

This mindset shift helps grants you freedom from over-identifying with pain, shame, fear, or other negative labels. You're not fundamentally broken. Instead, you're the one noticing the struggle — that's a big difference!

How to practice self-as-context:

• Watch your mind like a movie. Close your eyes for a minute and notice your thoughts arising like subtitles and your emotions passing like background music. This puts you in the position of viewer or observer.

• Picture your thoughts/feelings as weather. Youare the sky, not the weather. You hold your passing emotions (they're the clouds, storms, sunshine, etc.) and allow them to pass because you're big enough to contain them.

  

What you care about the most and the ideas that drive your life are your values. They're crucial ingredients in creating a fulfilling life for yourself.

This principle is all about figuring out what matters to you.

You can start by asking yourself:

• “What kind of person do I want to be?”

• “What do I want to stand for?”

• “What do I want my life to be about?”

Other ways to discover and act on values:

• Write a "North Star" statement: This looks like, “I want to live with [value], especially when [challenge shows up].” For example, “I want to live with kindness, even when I’m feeling frustrated.”

• Break values into tiny daily actions. If your value is personal growth, set a timer each day for 10 minutes to read something new.

• Do a weekly or daily check-in. Make it a habit to ask yourself, “When did I move towards my values? When did I move away?”

After you discover what values you want to guide you in life, the next step is taking action to guide you in the direction of your values, even when it's hard.

Recall that the first part of ACT is acceptanceand learning how to coexist peacefully with negative thoughts and emotions. The second part of ACT is a commitmentto moving in the direction of your values. Remember, aiming for perfection or rigid outcomes isn't the goal.

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Some ways to practice committed action:

• Have a backup plan. ACT assumes you’ll feel discomfort (fear, laziness, self-doubt). Ask yourself, “What thoughts, feelings, or urges might get in the way?” and “How can I make space for them and take action anyway?”

• Put it on the calendar. Turn good intentions into to-do list items by putting a time-block on your calendar, setting a reminder on your phone, or having an accountability partner.

• Practice flexibility, not rigidity. Committed Action is not about being perfect, it's about being consistent. If you don't think you can commit to your 1-hour workout ask yourself, “What’s the next best action I can take now?” A 10-minute workout is better than nothing!

Quiz Time!

Amy has been feeling stuck lately and wants to make some life changes. She realizes that being a present and supportive mother is really important to her. Despite having anxious thoughts and occasional self-doubt, Amy decides to start setting aside 20 minutes each evening to read with her child, even on stressful days.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

ACT is all about finding freedom from your negative thoughts and emotions and harnessing that sense of self-mastery to help move you in the direction of your values.

There's so many ways to take the 6 principles and start using them in your daily life. Take your pick from the ones below!